Just like little baby Jesus.
The committee, they asked me to be the one to pick the band to play the prom. I said I wanted Frankenstein. They said that Frankenstein was not a band…
“
| — | Benji Hughes, a retarded person |
Subliminal Messages
I’ve noticed that every time I watch the trailer for the new Avengers movie I’ve been having these hardcore cravings for fast food. Finally, after googling “sexy thor hammer” and going through all the images it hit me! Now take a look for yourselves, maybe you’ll catch it.
Yeah, so maybe it’s only obvious if you have sweet imagery analysis skills like me. Let’s take another look. This time I did some photoshop magic to help you out. Be careful though! It still blends in very well.
Those sneaky fuckers snuck the McDonald’s logo into his beautiful golden locks! It takes a bit more than that to fool these watchful eyes though. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go eat all the McNuggets.
Learning the Alphabet
Kindergarten Me: A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Teacher: That’s great Sean! But you forgot the “P.”
Kindergarten Me: That’s because it’s running down my pants! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!
That joke inspired me to learn the alphabet. It wasn’t until years later that I was able to remember to put the “P” in the alphabet.
Things I Say When I’m Drunk
“I’m sorry, but HGTV is lightyears ahead of the DIY Network as far as production value is concerned.”
I’m sorry for party rocking.
In 2009 I created a coaster fort strong enough to support a totally full ketchup bottle (it was probably empty) with CIRCULAR COASTERS! BEST LIFE ACCOMPLISHMENT EVER!!!
Also I was in the Army.
And giving a double thumbs up in a picture isn’t douchey when you accomplish something so amazing that it changes lives or whatever.
Truthful Tuesday
Whenever I pour a bowl of cereal and realize there’s barely any cereal left in the bag I do my best Mortal Kombat voice and say “FINISH HIM!”
Then I do a manly twirl, rip the bag out of the box and pour the rest of the cereal while singing Europe’s “The Final Countdown.”
Ignorant thoughts about Arkansas and Kansas
Kansas is in the name Arkansas, but while Kansas people refer to themselves as Kanisters, Arkansas people don’t refer to themselves as Arkanisters, but just Retards.
(It may not be true that Kansas people refer to themselves as Kanisters. But they should.)
